Think of the last time you were confident about yourself? There is a confidence crisis these days especially in the workplace, and you know what, it also affects the rest of our lives in a very negative way.
In this article, I’m shedding light on how you can build self confidence in 5 easy steps:
1. Focus on the right thing – one at a time
Despite the popularity of “multi-tasking”, to be truly effective in your work, life, relationships, and frankly, anything that matters, you must focus on one thing at at time.
- one task
- one conversation
- one thought
Thankfully, we do have machines that allow us to start a project, while it finishes it, so we can move on to something else more important (i.e. laundry and our glorious washers and dryers). Which brings me to focusing on the right thing.
What does the “right thing” mean? Well, far too often (myself included) we get caught up in being busy and at the end of the day, we may have accomplished many tasks, and that can feel good, but we didn’t accomplish the priority items. So it is important to take a few moments in the morning to get centered. Here’s how:
- Take a few deep, slow breaths:
- Inhale through your nose;
- Hold it for a count of 5;
- Exhale slowly through your lips.
- Repeat at least 3 times.
- Then ask “What is the most optimal and important thing for me to accomplish today?”
- Sit quietly until the answer comes.
- If you receive more than one thing, then ask, “which of these is the highest priority?”
- If you’re not sure HOW to go about this task, then remain quiet, breathing in and out slowly, and ask, “What is my first step?”
When we take a task and break it down into small, bite-sized chunks, we gain confidence because we KNOW we CAN do the next step with ease and grace. Seeing the big picture is important, but knowing we can get there step-by-step is the way goals are achieved!
2. Take some time to visualize your victory
I find visualizing FUN and I hope you will too. In the 1976 Summer Olympics, Bruce Jenner won the Decathlon. Leading up to the events, he obviously trained, but one very important part of his training was visualizing. He posted pictures of him winning each of the ten events on the ceiling above his bed. Each night he visualized himself WINNING each event, he saw himself at the games, he felt his gear, he felt the energy and enthusiasm of the crowd, he heard them cheering for him. No detail was left unrehearsed.
I used this same method leading up to winning an all inclusive trip for two to Mexico on a television show. I visualized each event to the best of my ability in color, like a movie in my mind, each detail, who were my supporting characters, how faster I would be than my competition, and most importantly, how I would feel about winning.
SECRET REVEALED: The #1 part of effective visualization is your feelings. Their like fuel in the Maserati luxury sports car. Without fuel, the car won’t go anywhere, and the same is true for visualization. Which is why I actually call this process “virtualization”. Use as many of your 5 senses (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste) PLUS your emotions to realized your victory!!!
What outcome do you want at work? At school? In your family? In your intimate relationships? In your health?
This is your LIFE! What do you want in it? You have the power of visualization to create just about anything. Why leave this fabulous super-power idling in the basement of your mind?
3. Work on improving yourself by removing your negative self esteem
About 10 years ago, I started actively noticing the thoughts and feelings swimming around in my mind and body. WOW! Was I shocked to find out that most of my thoughts were YUCKY and very negative, and worse yet, they were negative about me, myself and I! So here is what I did to turn it around…
- I actively began noticing them without judgement. Just getting into the habit of noticing and not going through the day on autopilot is a BIG deal.
- Once I got used to noticing, then I began saying “STOP” when the thoughts were negative. This breaks the pattern.
- After breaking the pattern, then replace the negative thought with three (3) positive ones.
- Breathe deeply 3 times and let the positive phrases soak in.
Here is one example of how I did this:
I caught myself saying, “I am so stupid; how could I be soooo stupid?” Then I said, “STOP, that was in the past, now (1) I am too smart to make that mistake again! (2) I am learning and growing everyday. (3) I am brilliant!”
What are you saying to yourself? How could you be kinder and more loving to yourself today? Perhaps you could ask yourself this question during your quiet time from step #1.
4. Set small goals and celebrate when you achieve them
What we focus on expands. Period. Where your focus goes, your energy flows. When we celebrate our wins, it puts yummy, juicy, powerfully positive energy towards winning… and that my friend, will help you create MORE WINS! And if you have more wins, would you feel more confident to take on bigger challenges? YES, of course you would!
Celebration is often overlooked. I’ve been guilty of moving from task to task. Focused on just getting things done, not paying attention to my inner guidance system (emotions)… and not having a lot of fun, either! When we have fun, we learn faster, we feel better, more energized; and we attract more good into our lives. It’s like Charles Dicken’s Oliver saying, “Yes sir, more please.” Success begets success, so start small and start growing the enthusiastic energy for bigger successes and an ever increasing confidence fire in your belly!
5. Thoroughly prepare yourself to achieve your goal and always be authentic
When I was a kid, I never felt like I fit in! I always felt different, at school, at home, everywhere! I felt like I had to act a certain way in order to be accepted. Thankfully, as I have shed those old, unbeneficial beliefs, and shared my authentic self and stories of traumatic events with my private clients and from the stage, I was embraced with love, acceptance and appreciation. Why? Because our soul’s crave authenticity. When we see it modeled for us, the light dawns and we realize, we can have it too.
When you make the decision to achieve your goal, buried subconscious limiting beliefs will surface in an effort to keep you ‘safe’. These saboteurs must be looked upon as outdated programs in the computer between your ears. Take a non-judgmental look at them and do some exploration by asking the following:
- How is this (belief, procrastination, sabotage, etc.) benefitting me?
- When did this belief first begin?
- Is this a generational issue? (origins in my family lineage)
- Where and when has it shown up in your life?
- Did the triggering event teach me anything beneficial?
- What belief about the world, himself/herself, or about relationships did the primary character of the triggering scene create in that moment?
- What did the primary character of the triggering scene really need in that moment? (unconditional love, peace, security, confidence, etc.)
- If you went out into the abundant universe to find these yummy resources and gathered them up until you felt warm, tingly and AWESOME, would you be willing to give these gifts to the primary character of the old, yucky triggering scene?
- If so, how does the person and the scene change, as they have what they need?
- Now that you and the primary character have these yummy resources, what new belief do you have that replaces the old, limiting (yucky) one?
- With the new resources and new belief(s), how will the future be different? Will you be more confident? Picture and experience the new, future scene. Try it on and use all your senses. Teach your mind, body and spirit how to use the new resources and how life will be different now.
Hope these steps will help you to boost your confidence. Believe in the power within and you’ll notice how you attract and influence others. Always reward when you achieve something.
Cheers to YOU living your BEST life!
Kimberly A. Reid, MNLP, C.Ht.